Alone on a rock, Clive Rosfield reflects, no words, not even those in a voiceover of his own thoughts.
Behind him, one single bark. Enough to get his attention.
Turning towards the source of the sound, Clive watches a lone, large canine walk towards him.
A small smile forms on Clive’s face, not long after, the dog seems to make one of its own. Immediately he begins showing affection for it by giving it great strokes with both hands which it thoroughly enjoys.
“And who’s this fine hound I see before me?”
The bonding session is quickly interrupted by Cidolfus Telamon and his assistant Goetz who the dog has been accompanying for some time.
“A fine hound who saved your life, that’s who.”
Although it was a team effort of equal measure, the dog couldn’t actually return the compliment.
Clive stands and says one word.
“Torgal.”
“Eh?” The confused Cidolfus responds.
“His name is Torgal.”
For the first time in 13 years, Clive and his childhood pet, a gift from his father, are reunited once more. That still moment speaks volumes more than words can.
Apart from barks, Torgal doesn’t speak and that’s one of the beautiful things about him. He is simply there.
His presence doesn’t demand attention, his love doesn’t even speak, it turns up, it stays.
Even when Cid and Goetz turn to leave, Torgal remains with Clive. Once Clive is ready, they head off together to catch up to their two allies, without another word.
When Silence Feels Like Failure
Clive never asked Torgal to join him. He never even called for him, he just showed up.
It is uncertain what exactly Clive was thinking or reflecting on, but the moment Torgal arrived, every negative thoughts he had were dispelled and replaced with companionship, joy and love.
Maybe the silence you’re experiencing isn’t a reflective type, but haunting.
Even in silence, especially in silence, God still speaks and His words have more power over darkness than any other force of nature.
If Clive was feeling like a failure, that feeling didn’t matter once his faithful companion arrived.
All of us go through down seasons, dark periods and not all of us have an actual pet for comfort. But all of us do have someone who can be there to just listen and whose presence just makes the world feel brighter. The saying ‘one person can make a difference’ isn’t just a saying it is a statement of truth.
Are you feeling exhausted, stressed out, even broken? Maybe your mental health is taking a dive, maybe personal circumstances are causing you emotional pain. You just can’t find the right words to say what you’re going through. Not to anyone and not even to God.
It is definitely not a weakness, it is not even the end.
Torgal was always there for Clive, he may have been an NPC, but what you will see is just how powerful a side character can be, especially one who doesn’t provide words.
Torgal’s Role Was Never to Lead — It Was to Stay
Dog owners will understand this instinctively. When they take their pets out for walks—whether on a leash or free to roam, they follow their own curiosity.
It’s just their nature.
Torgal is exactly the same. Whenever Clive wanders the landscape of Valisthea, even when they are reunited with Ambrosia, Clive’s faithful chocobo steed, Torgal continues to be just as he was when he was a pup, curious, loyal, loveable and even a bit mischievous.
How many dog owners here can relate to this? What about cat owners?
Torgal never strays too far from Clive, nor does he ever take the lead, in fact they are both on the same wavelength as each other and it is this synergy that allows them to understand one another.
- When Clive fights, Torgal protects.
- When Clive orders, Torgal follows.
- When Clive rests, Torgal remains.
Even away from all the action and fighting, that loyalty isn’t questionable, in fact within the hideaway, Torgal interacts with the dwellers, even playing with the children.
One thing about pets is that while they may communicate to us through their own sounds, they don’t need words to demonstrate their love, they just stay. Their presence alone is a form of affection.
No grand announcements, no demand for affection. Just a loveable furry family member.
All of the qualities that make Torgal, the companion that he is to Clive are what we can also live by. But it is simply their company that makes such a huge difference.
And just like other four-legged companions, he enjoys pets, rubs and treats.
God’s Nearness in the Quiet
Psalm 34:18 says: “The Lord is near to the broken-hearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
A broken person can be smiling, happy-go-lucky, even on top of the world. This is how they look on the outside.
But on the inside, it is the complete opposite. It is like a raging tempest.
Even when they are around people they know and they find comfort in, loneliness is still present.
Just as Torgal never abandoned Clive, God will never abandon you. In fact, He meets you in the broken places.
He comes to you where others can’t. He has the right words when others may not be able to find the correct ones to say.
True to this truth, it is in the quiet where God meets you.
When you look at Torgal, he never barks continuously for attention, he barks once to let people know he is there. With Clive and sometimes Cid, on occasion, he doesn’t even need to bark, he just shows up.
This is how God works. One word from him is enough to comfort. His presence alone is soothing. He comes to us when we pray, but he draws near to us when we are weary and exhausted.
Lonely and being alone are two different things. You might feel like the latter, but you are never the former.
- Friends are there to listen and not judge.
- Even confiding in your own pets can be a great source. God does love animals too, after all.
- Even when you have a conversation by yourself, God is there and he listens intently.
All of us have people who listen and love us. Reach out to them, confide in them, because the most important thing to remember is: you are never too broken, you are never too far gone and you are never too alone.
The Exhaustion of Always Having to Be Strong
For over 20 years, Torgal never stopped longing for his master. In fact, while doing that, he sniffed out and collected items that belonged to him, placing them in a secret treehouse that they went to together.
In all that time, Torgal never gave up on him, not knowing if Clive would return or was even still alive.
Even amongst those waiting and separation years, Torgal continued to live a great life, serving alongside Cid, becoming a popular member of the Hideaway and just living the life the way a canine should.
Behind the scenes, it is easy to imagine many lonely nights for him, even moments where he wandered, maybe even looking to others for hope. Through it all, not able to directly speak his thoughts or feelings.
He continued to be strong in his pursuit of finding Clive, but not to the point where he burnt out or even reached a point of giving up on his quest.
Is this you too? We live in a culture where it is a ‘hold it together’ mentality. Some people not afraid to tell you that, sometimes we can even whisper that under our own breath.
You don’t have to be strong all the time. In fact, constantly trying to be strong leads to exhaustion. Rest and refuge is just as important.
For a different angle, let me put this in a way that may help avoid exhaustion and burnout:
Torgal = Quest: Find Clive.
Sustainability: Playing, interacting and hanging out with others.
Us = Quest: Dreams, heart desires, prayers.
Sustainability: Hobbies, community, respite.
Keep being strong for what you are believing for, but enjoy other areas of your life and don’t neglect them.
You’re not putting your dreams on the backburner, you’re not giving up on your visions, you are simply pursuing them alongside living and enjoying your life with others supporting you and God guiding you.
Faith Can Look Like Presence, Not Power
If you look back at the opening scene of this post, I wrote about the scene where Clive and Torgal are reunited. When Cid and Goetz begin to leave, Torgal stays with Clive until he himself is ready to follow them.
This is the beauty of presence; this is what faith looks like and Torgal was very much faithful to his master.
Faith isn’t something that always needs to be seen, it is something that is knowing and feeling. It’s experiencing comfort in something near.
That is why I have brought you back to the opening scene. Because this is your permission to rest.
Think of it like being in the Hideaway in Final Fantasy XVI, the safe haven where Clive, Cid, Torgal and many of their other allies reside. It is their place of rest.
What is your hideaway? Who are the allies you share it with?
God never created you to live life alone. Of course, He is our safe haven, a source of comfort and one who we can go to with anything and everything.
But to have others who will support your journey and be a part of your circle is important. It’s part of not being alone and lonely, which I also mentioned in the chapter: ‘God’s Nearness in the Quiet’.
You are valuable and very much loved. Whether you need a Torgal in your life, or you need to be the Torgal in someone else’s, never underestimate the value of companionship, quietness and the power of simply being there.
Let Yourself Be Held
Maybe you are struggling right now. Maybe things feel too much, even being in physical company is too overwhelming.
If that’s you, that’s okay.
Sometimes being by ourselves is necessary and comforting.
Here’s a couple of things you could do when you are finding yourself, as the title says, letting yourself be held:
- Instead of a prayer, write a sentence on what you are going through, or what you are thinking, then reflect on it and see if there’s a softer or truer way to hold that thought.
- If you have someone on your heart, that usually means God is telling you to pray for them. You might not know what they require prayer for, or why them, but if they are on your heart, that is usually the strongest sign, they need your spiritual words.
- Sit with God in silence, no words, no distractions, just feel and hear His presence in the quiet areas of your heart.
There is nothing wrong with finding solitude and spending time alone, but do not mistake it for isolation and separate yourself from people in your life, including God. He is the one person who is always there when others can’t, or even won’t.
He always listens, always guides and always comforts.
You Don’t Walk Alone
The final words of the previous chapter lead us here.
It is also meant to offer comfort.
Just as Torgal always remained by Clive’s side, he is a reminder that God does the same to us.
Both share traits that give us comfort:
- Loyalty
- Connection
- Understanding
- Love
But also, just as God works in supernatural ways, Torgal has a hidden power that not even Clive knew about.
This shows that even the closest companions and people to us can still amaze us and God is very much of this awe and wonder when prayers are answered, dreams become a reality and impossible things in our lives are made possible.
The season may be quiet, but the presence of God never changes, He draws close to you even when you don’t have words, even if all you have are tears.
Faith is not measured by volume, just like our love for God is not measured in how perfect we are. He comes to us when we are broken and even when we stray.
He is more than a companion, he is our protector, Our shepherd and our father.
Just as Torgal walked with Clive, with God, you will never walk alone.